


Rose Scented Bedsheets

by kekneki



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: LOTS of fluff probably, M/M, i meant to write this like last year but 2015 sounds more fitting tbh, lots of kaworu's inner thoughts, more characters will be added, rating could change in the future so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3089543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kekneki/pseuds/kekneki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaworu didn't have a good transition out of High School, but when his longtime friend, Shinji, offers to share an apartment with him (with some rules to boot), Kaworu gets ecstatic and agrees to Shinji's terms. Finally, they get their apartment and are set for the road. As time passes, Kaworu realizes how much he truly cherished his friendship with Shinji, a hopes to evolve it more as they live together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Move-In

**Author's Note:**

> happy late new year you assholes

Kaworu sighed at his laptop, resting a hand on his cheek, of which the elbow was on his knee. The overgrown bangs of his white hair were pinned back some hair clips he had to buy for himself a few days ago. The air conditioning in the apartment wasn’t installed yet; he and his roommate had just moved in last week. Kaworu was genuinely surprised there was working wi-fi so soon. What a miracle.

At the moment, however, the wi-fi and air conditioning were the least of his worries. He was arguing with the supervisor of an online college he wanted to attend.

“Please…” Kaworu pried. “You can’t give me an extension?” He was referring to his admission papers; the move distracted him from filling them out.

“Well...” A low yet feminine voice answered him quickly. “I can’t give you any later than midnight tonight. After that, you won’t be valid for attendance in the online courses. Then you’ll just have to wait until next semester.”

That’s something he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t think that was enough time. “But..”

“That’s all the time you get, Nagisa.”

Kaworu sighed once more. He wasn’t getting any wiggling room. “Fine, supervisor…”

“Good. Now get to work.” And the audio communication ended with that.

Kaworu had a bit of… trouble moving along after high school. Unlike his roommate, he didn’t go to college right away. He kept himself afloat by working various odd jobs around the city. The orphanage he was in kicked him out the second he graduated, merely providing him with little possessions and money to live by. His roommate and longtime friend agreed to share an apartment with him only if he were to attend college and get a part-time job or get a full-time job entirely. One year later, Kaworu had saved enough money (and stayed with one of his roommate’s friends) to assist with a down payment, and there they were.

Kaworu’s roommate’s name was Ikari Shinji, or just Shinji to Kaworu (or more rather “Shinji-kun” mostly). Shinji had been going to college for over a year for engineering, and was originally in a dorm with one of his high school friends. But when he heard Kaworu wanted a roommate, he happily obliged. Kaworu saw Shinji as the epitome of kindness, and showed his gratitude any and every way he could.

Kaworu and Shinji both had part time jobs as baristas at a café down the street, with Kaworu on morning shift and Shinji during the evening. Kaworu would admit he didn’t spend as much time with Shinji as he wanted to, but there’s no way he’d admit that out loud. Shinji on the other hand didn’t mind it as much; he wanted to be sure he could support himself as well as get Kaworu back on his feet.

Kaworu closed the laptop, standing up from the floor. He didn’t have a desk quite yet; the shipment hadn’t come in. It was evening time, so Shinji was out working, leaving Kaworu by himself. He glanced over at the piling boxes against the wall. Some were labeled with his name, others with Shinji. He walked over to them; might as well get back to unpacking.

He ripped the tape off one and opened it; it was filled with his clothes. Not exactly the one he was looking for. The truck which had all their furniture inside hadn’t arrived yet, so they were stuck without it. Kaworu decided to leave the box be, and move onto the next.

Before Kaworu could realize, hours had already passed by. He found another one of his boxes, only it was filled with all of these robot figurines he’s taken to collecting. They were special for one reason; they were old models that Shinji had put together and given to Kaworu when they were kids. Even through his hardships, he managed to keep them intact and together for all this time. Kaworu was truly proud of this. He could show Shinji how he kept them all this time, as well as show how much Kaworu cherished their friendship.

He took a casual glance to his laptop, which was still closed. He scooted back over to it, opened it up, and used the track pad to wake it up from sleep mode. Once he signed back in, he looked at the clock; it read 11:30 PM. 

Kaworu groaned. “Oops… looks like I should get started. If I put it off anymore, I know Shinji-kun will have a fit…” Kaworu crawled back to his mess of figures, quickly put everything back into the box, and moved back to his laptop to fill out his papers.

Kaworu wanted cyber classes mainly so he could keep his morning shift. That way, he could be home and take care of Shinji when he was back from his day classes. And then once Shinji left for work, Kaworu could attend to his own classes as well. It seemed like a bit of a stunt; Kaworu was making a risky choice because of his tendency to procrastinate, but he kept assuring himself that everything would be fine.

He managed to fill out the admissions forms with a grin. He knew Shinji would be happy to know that Kaworu finally did what he always wanted to do. It almost seemed like Kaworu’s one pleasure in life was to please Shinji in some form, but he wouldn’t admit or agree to it. He wouldn’t say that Shinji clouded his thoughts in the slightest, no matter how obvious it was.

11:55 PM. Whew. Kaworu sent in the last form via email, and closed the website for now. He knew that the supervisor would be rubbing her temples and sighing at him later, but at least Kaworu got it done. He had no worries for now; or at least until Shinji would get home. Shinji would probably be exhausted, wondering where the hell their furniture was (as if both of them weren’t already), and nap on the floor for a bit.

It’s been like that for a few days now, and Kaworu hoped it would change. Just as his thoughts began to decline, he could hear a motor outside, and some lights shining into the window. He got up from the floor, peeking outside.

“For the love of…” He got down, quickly putting on his slip-ons to cover his bare feet and running toward the door leading outside. “Out of all the times this damned truck could’ve showed up…” It was annoying, sure. But at least the night would be interesting now.


	2. Lullaby

Shinji hurried in the backroom, trying to gather his belongings so he could finally head home. Or to his new home. That seemed more fitting. All he had on him was his cell phone, which didn’t have service yet, and his wallet with minimal cash. He shoved them both into his jeans pocket and hurried out. It was late; much later than he intended to be out. He already knew that Kaworu would be up his ass about it, but that was the least of his worries.

He passed by the tables, which were mostly clean; the sharer of his shift agreed to take care of the other tables so he could finally head home. His partner was a girl who was pretty cute, but sort of had a big mouth in his eyes. They would battle back and forth about petty work things, but overall they considered each other mild friends. The girl’s name was Asuka, and she muttered to herself bitterly as Shinji slowly passed by.

“Tomorrow, you’re cleaning all of the tables, Stupid Shinji.” She growled, using that notorious nickname that Shinji didn’t care for. He acknowledged her words, but ignored her attitude, and headed outside.

It was warm and sticky outside, and Shinji knew it wouldn’t be much better when he got back to the apartment. Kaworu had informed him that the air conditioning still wasn’t set up, and their furniture also hadn’t arrived either. It would be yet another unpleasant night, but it would get better in the next few days once everything came together.

Half of their furniture needed to be replaced, and the other half had to be shipped. It was going to be awful unloading and constructing everything, but the apartment would look nice with everything there. Shinji couldn’t wait until everything was settled, but he was too tired to actually go about doing anything if it happened. He just wanted to get some sleep.

Sadly, that wasn’t his oncoming fate.

Shinji turned the corner that led to the lot of apartments. He could see a light in the distance toward his, but it wasn’t a streetlight or anything. He picked up his step, almost jogging over to see what it was. He sighed through his nose when he got there, seeing that it was indeed the truck he and Kaworu had been waiting days to see. Perfect timing.

Kaworu had taken another box out of the truck, wobbling a bit in his step as he carried it. He turned to see Shinji in the distance, and a grin filled his face. “Shinji-kun! Welcome home!”

Shinji stared at him with a grimace. “Kaworu-kun…”

“The truck just came. Such impeccable timing.” Kaworu spoke with sarcasm. “I got some of the boxes in already, so if we hurry, we can get everything inside!”

Shinji sighed, and went straight to assisting Kaworu with whatever was left in the truck. It seemed Kaworu had hurriedly gotten most of it inside, so it only took a few trips to get the rest. Shinji quickly rushed off the truck, and went back inside for good once it was gone. The living room was filled with even more boxes, but at least the two finally had most of their furniture.

Shinji sat down on top of a box, wiping the formed sweat off his forehead with his wrist. “Well, at least we have everything inside now…”

“This is exciting, isn’t it Shinji-kun?” Kaworu inquired, sitting on the floor next to the box. “Should we start unpacking now, or wait until tomorrow?”

“Don’t you have morning shift tomorrow? I wouldn’t want you to lose more sleep than you already have…”

“It’s not a problem. We could just unpack the futons so we don’t have to sleep on the hard floor. Then we can unpack everything else in the daytime. Do you have classes tomorrow?”

Shinji shook his head. “No. I do the day after.”

“That’s fine. I’ll pick up where you stop after work. That way, we can get everything set up before the other stuff comes in.”

“I like that idea.” Shinji smiled, getting up from the box. “We should get started then.”

Kaworu nodded, getting up after him. They began to search through some of the boxes that were out, trying to find what they were looking for. They didn’t exactly consider labeling the boxes beforehand, so that only made the task much more difficult. By some sudden luck, Kaworu managed to rip open the right box after his third, and the futons were inside.

Kaworu earned that smile from Shinji again; the very same that made his heart warm. He exchanged a smile back before Shinji went eagerly digging into the box, trying to set everything up. Kaworu was pretty aware that Shinji was tired, and tried his best to assist him. He wasn’t exactly sure how all of the furniture was put together, which was partially why he refrained from unpacking anything (as well as being under Shinji’s instruction).

The two futons were set up next to each other on the floor, surrounded by the piles of boxes in the room. Shinji sat down on his and Kaworu went over to dim the lights. It was pretty late, and both of them were probably tired. Kaworu looked down at Shinji before sitting down on his own futon, chuckling.

“You look exhausted, Shinji-kun.” Said Kaworu, resting his chin on his knees.

“Work was a trip today. Tomorrow will probably be more tiring…” Shinji sighed, lying on his back. “’ll at least have a little of a break during your shift…”

“Be sure to rest up for tomorrow. It’s going to be a long day.”

“Yeah… unpacking all of this is going to take ages…”

“It’ll be okay, Shinji-kun. It’ll be nice to unbox everything, figure out where it goes, and make memories from this experience. Doesn’t that sound like fun at the least?” Kaworu attempted to be encouraging.

“…It does.” Shinji replied. “Kind of like what we’re doing now. Making memories.”

“Exactly. I enjoy the time I spend with you, Shinji-kun. But would you rather sleep?”

“A little bit, you don’t mind, Kaworu.”

“Not at all. You need your rest.”

Shinji nodded, flipping over so he was on his stomach instead. His head rested on the flat pillow, his arm going underneath for support. He inhaled, feeling completely relaxed before releasing a sigh. “Hey, Kaworu.”

At this point, Kaworu was already on his stomach on his own futon. “Hmmm?”

“The futon… it still kind of smells like roses.”

“It does?” Kaworu checked for himself, softly sniffing the pillow. “Oh, it does, Shinji-kun! Even after all this time…”

“Yeah, it’s neat how it managed to stay here even after being camped inside a box…” Shinji smelled it again, nuzzling the pillow with his head. “It’s soothing…”

“Yes, it is…” Kaworu yawned softly, looking over to Shinji. His eyes were already closed, and his breathing was calm.

Kaworu didn’t think he could get a restful night’s sleep unless Shinji was next to him. Something about Shinji’s calm, sleeping face put Kaworu at ease. Kaworu saw slumber as way to escape pain, and Kaworu knew that no matter what, Shinji would never be in pain if he was asleep. It reassured Kaworu in a way, and made it easier for him to sleep on his own.

In addition, Shinji had one little quirk for when he slept, sometimes, he would hum in his sleep from his dreams. Kaworu personally found it cute, but never told Shinji about it because he would be embarrassed. It almost worked as a lullaby for Kaworu; it reminded him that Shinji was nearby and at ease. 

The hums started low at first when Shinji would first fall asleep. They would get a bit more in depth as the night went on until they all linked together. Kaworu found it beautiful and even tried to memorize some of them by ear so he could one day play them for Shinji (assuming he could find his keyboard in the mess of boxes).

Kaworu finally closed his eyes, listening to the soft hums coming from the one next to him. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.


	3. Pre-Heat

“Kaworu…” Shinji nudging the sleeping boy, trying to wake him up. “You’re gonna be late for work.”

“…Hmmmm?” Kaworu’s eyes cracked open. A blurry vision of Shinji’s figure filled his eyesight. “Shinji…?”

“Yeah. Wake up.” Shinji replied grumpily, getting up from the floor and stretching. It was a bit after dawn; Shinji couldn’t really bring himself to sleep for so long in the heat. The morning was generally cooler, but the afternoon would come back with the dreaded hotness if the air conditioning didn’t get activated soon.

Kaworu yawned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes drowsily. “Shinji-kun… the sun’s barely up…”

“I couldn’t sleep. But then I checked my phone for the time and realized you should be awake so you could get ready for work. I can start unpacking thing while you’re gone, and then you can finish up while I’m on the evening shift.”

“Hm. Sounds fair enough to me. What are you starting with?”

“Whatever furniture we have here. Which isn’t a lot, but I want to get the bigger stuff out of the way.”

“Just don’t hurt yourself.”

“I should being telling you that.” Shinji chuckled.

“Anyways…” Kaworu stood up, stretching his back. “Am I going to have to pick up breakfast?”

Shinji nodded. “Yup.”

“…Is our gas turned on?”

“Nope.”

“So I can’t take a shower.”

“Nope.”

“…Or brush my teeth, at least.”

“Nope. All of our toiletries are still packed.”

Kaworu sighed. “I’ll just go to work in what I’m wearing, then. You think Asuka will get angry?”

Shinji shrugged. “I don’t think she’s working morning shift, is she?”

“She might be. Rei is still… out of commission.”

“Oh, right…”

“With that out of the way, I guess I’ll get going.” Kaworu went over to the door leading outside, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his wallet and phone from the floor. 

“It’s still sort of early, Kaworu…”

“I’m going to get breakfast. Unless you want me to get you something?”

Shinji shook his head. “I can get something for myself later.”

“All right. I’ll see you later, Shinji-kun.” Kaworu flashed his signature smile at Shinji before quickly heading out the door.

Huh. Kaworu seemed to be a bit more eager to go to work than usual. Kaworu would normally stall on and on until Shinji practically pushed him out the door. But this time, it was different; it sort of confused Shinji. Kaworu was definitely the opposite of a morning person, but he also seemed like he was in a good mood. On another point, he seemed sort of withdrawn…

Shinji turned around to the pile of boxes that had formed, and grew from last night. There was no use in worrying about something petty; he had a job to do. A box toward the top of the pile caught his eye; the tape on it appeared to have been ripped off and re-applied. The box was also labeled “Kaworu”, so it didn’t come off as much of a surprise. Still, it struck Shinji’s curiosity slightly.

Shinji grabbed the opened box, setting it on the floor and sitting across from it. He pulled off the bad tape, setting it aside and peeking inside. He was surprised at the dusty contents that were inside. A wave of nostalgia hit him like a cool breeze; perhaps it was just his goose bumps from excitement, but he couldn’t differentiate it.

They were the same figures Shinji would brew over when he was a kid; putting them together to fill his gap of loneliness. He remembered giving most of them to Kaworu as gifts (or if he didn’t like how they came out). Each one he lifted up and observed brought back some memories from his childhood. Shinji smiled, dusting them off one by one and setting them aside until the box was empty.

Shinji was touched; he couldn’t believe Kaworu managed to keep all of them up to now, despite all of his hardships. Kaworu must’ve really treasured these silly toys for some reason or another. Then again, Kaworu was the one who would find a candy wrapper holding some sort of sentimental value. Shinji put them all back into the box neatly, setting the box by Kaworu’s idle laptop. Shinji then started to dig through the other boxes taking out the pieces of furniture to hopefully fill the floors of the apartment.

\----

“Did you confess your love to him yet, or what?” A grumpy woman’s voice was heard. It was Asuka. Just like Kaworu, she was anything but a morning person.

“Hm? Why would I do something like that?” Kaworu sipped his coffee. The two happened to find each other getting a breakfast fix at the same place. They decided to walk with each other to their job at the café, eating something on the way.

“You and I both know why, Kaworu-kun.”Asuka bit out of her sandwich. “I mean, you moved in with him for a reason…”

“The opportunity for a roommate presented itself. Shinji-kun is kind and happily accepted my presence.”

“But at what price?”

“What do you mean?”

“The price of your friendship.” Asuka continued. “Are you gonna close the gap at some point?”

Kaworu gulped. “I mean… maybe. Shinji-kun seems content already with our close friendship. I wouldn’t want to risk it not working out and all I’ve gained just suddenly crumbling…”

“Exactly what I mean.” Asuka sipped her coffee. “I’ve known Shinji forever. He’s not a ladies’ man. I could see him catching for the other team.”

Kaworu blushed a little bit. He caught the little innuendo Asuka slipped into her statement. “I mean, even with that assumption, we can’t be too sure…”

Asuka sighed. “You seemed like the kind of guy who would be bursting with confidence toward this, you know? At least more than Stupid Shinji ever would. You were much more open during our school days. What happened?”

Kaworu shrugged, unsure. “I guess I just changed…”

They began to get closer to the café. Asuka threw out the wrapper of her sandwich in a waste bin and took out her keys to unlock the building. “Well, it’s not like your personality shifts matter to me. Or to this situation as a whole. It matters how you act upon it.”

Kaworu nodded, standing beside her. “You make a point.”

“Of course I do.” Click. The door opened. “Just something for you to think about.”

Asuka walked inside, and Kaworu shortly after. Asuka’s words invaded his thoughts for the entire shift. He didn’t space out or anything during work (god forbid; asuka would have his head for it), but he was deep in thought. Perhaps Asuka really did have a point; he needed to try and be more confident toward his affections for Shinji. Or perhaps they weren’t even affections; maybe Kaworu just valued their friendship a lot? It was too close to tell.

Oh well. Kaworu would just have to sit back and think once his shift was over.


	4. Motivation

The shift wasn’t very strenuous; Kaworu barely broke a sweat. Asuka waved him off silently as he walked out, but her words still haunted his mind. It didn’t particularly bother Kaworu, but in a sense, it really made him think. He then wondered what Shinji was doing all this time; he was unpacking, right? Shinji was a pretty diligent worker, so he probably got the majority of the boxes emptied.

Kaworu got to the front door, opening it under the assumption that it was unlocked (which it was). A blast of cold air hit him, relieving him from the hot air he worked and walked through.

“Shinji-kun? I’m back…” Kaworu stepped in, shutting the door. “I see the air is finally kicking in…”

“Oh, yeah it is!” Shinji peeked out from a room toward the back. “I’m setting up the kitchen, finally. I got a table and some chairs set up. I also have the appliances arranged on the counter.”

Kaworu smiled, slipping off his shoes and walking toward him. “Great. Now we can do some cooking around here. Surviving off of fast food can’t be healthy…”

Shinji nodded. “The gas is also on. I took a shower earlier and it was fine. Everything in the bathroom is loaded.”

“Wow. You truly are amazing, Shinji-kun.”

“I guess. I mean, there’s still a lot of stuff that needs to be unpacked…”

“It doesn’t matter. I can do that when you’re gone. Did any of the shipments come in yet?”

Shinji shook his head. “Nothing. The living room set hasn’t even got anything back to me. I'm not sure about the bedroom., though. I'm waiting for a text...”

“It’ll be a nice change from sleeping on the futons.”

“I moved those into the actual designated bedroom. You don’t mind sharing a room, right?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, good.” Shinji nodded. “You should go shower. I put your boxed clothes in the bedroom, so you can get changed into something from there.”

Kaworu nodded. “You really think of everything.”

“I try.” Shinji popped back into the kitchen, continuing to fiddle with every that was in there; trying to organize it in a rational manner. Kaworu headed for the bathroom, letting himself in and shutting the door. Shinji sighed at the set-up he had going; most of their kitchenware was powered by electricity, and the number of sockets available were lacking a little bit. Not that big of a problem, but it did cause Shinji try and figure out what he wasn’t going to include. Other than that, most of the kitchen was set up. Groceries were the missing link.

Kaworu took a long, thoughtful shower. He was definitely taking Asuka’s words into consideration; he was going to have to do this by himself. Waiting for Shinji to catch on would take forever, as he already observed and from what Asuka explained. It almost seemed like Shinji roamed his mind more often now that they were finally moved in.

Kaworu massaged the shampoo into his hair, trying to think of what to do. He could gradually drop heavy hints, but he knew how well that would work out or how long it would take for Shinji to catch onto. Still, it was a good start; doing something too overbearing could possibly scare Shinji away, right? Usually that was the case with him. Unless somehow Shinji changed that drastically since their younger schooldays, but Kaworu doubted it and Asuka’s attitude seemed to confirm it.

Kaworu washed the soap off him, stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel. He dried himself off, his brain buzzing for ideas. Should it be something subtle, or spontaneous? Kaworu had to figure it out first before he did anything. Perhaps a mix of the two? Anything too subtle would mean Shinji wouldn’t pick up, but being too spontaneous could frighten him.

He wrapped the towel around his waist once he was mostly dried, and sighed quietly. Perhaps he was overthinking this a little. Maybe he had to just do it, and not think about it all. He had to man the fuck up, pull something out of his ass and go for it. Even speaking obscenely, that was the best idea.

He cracked the door open. The cool air hit his wet hair and made him shudder a little. Kaworu stepped out of the bathroom, walking back toward the kitchen area. “Shinji-kun?”

Shinji turned around from the counter. His face reddened a little bit; Kaworu was just standing there in the entrance to the kitchen, especially in nothing but a towel. “What is it?”

“Do you maybe, want to…” Kaworu hesitated. Come on, man. “…Go out for some lunch today?”

“...Well, I mean. Yeah, I would. But I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why not?”

“Because my afternoon shift… “ Shinji grimaced. “Asuka set me to start earlier than I’m supposed to. She did it as a little piece of revenge for last night…”

The back of Kaworu’s mind was secretly sobbing. Why, Asuka, why? “Yeah… that sounds a lot like her.”

Shinji nodded. “I actually have to leave very soon, now that I think about it. I did head out earlier for a early lunch. I left you something in the fridge.”

“Oh? That was thoughtful.”

Shinji chuckled, amused. “Well, you did say I think of everything.”

“I wasn’t joking, Shinji-kun.”

“You don’t do that too often. I don’t expect it.” Shinji turned his head back to the counter. “Well, I had to take out the electric can opener from our set-up. There wasn’t enough sockets.”

Kaworu looked skeptical. “Why do we even own that? Do you still not know how to use a can opener…?”

“S-Shut up.” Shinji got a bit embarrassed. “It’s… difficult.”

“Don’t worry, Shinji-kun. I’ll open every can for you if I have to.” Smooth and condescending. Good combination.

“Anyways, to change the subject…” Shinji was a little annoyed. “I’m gonna head out now. Your lunch is in the fridge. There are some boxes in the bedroom that you could probably unpack while I’m gone. I guess… just sort everything if there’s a need to.”

Kaworu nodded. “Anything on the bedroom set specifically, yet…?”

“They sent me a text. Apparently it’ll be here sometime next week.”

“Next week? Not too bad.”

“Thankfully, yes.” Shinji walked past Kaworu, toward the front door. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Have a nice afternoon at work, Shinji-kun.”

“Don’t get your hopes up…”

Kaworu giggled a bit at Shinji’s negative response. He probably was in for it at work, especially with the way that Asuka was. He stood for a few minutes by the kitchen, letting his thoughts run through before he turned and headed for the bedroom. It was more toward the back and past the bathroom. Boxes of things were still everywhere.

Kaworu walked in the bedroom, shutting the door. The window’s curtains were open, but the blinds were slightly closed, showing the view of the city they lived in being a little distorted. Two futons were set side-by-side on the floor. The only difference was that Kaworu’s laptop was on his futon, plugged in to charge. On the other side of the room was a pile of boxes, some labeled ‘Shinji’ and some labeled ‘Kaworu’. One of Kaworu’s seemed to be ripped open on top of the pile, and that’s what caught his eye.

He walked over to it, looking inside. Sure enough, it was the one that Kaworu held closest to his heart; Shinji’s plastic figures from their childhood days. Kaworu smiled warmly; Shinji must’ve seen it slightly opened in the first place and got curious. Maybe Shinji was touched by Kaworu managing to keep those for so many years. Kaworu was definitely going to set those up on a shelf or something once he got the chance to.

Kaworu turned around toward the futons. He was thrilled that he and Shinji could still share a sleeping space, even if they weren’t physically sleeping together. He could still listen to Shinji’s little fidgets and humming in his sleep like he always would. Kaworu stepped closer to the futons; they appeared to have been cleaned recently, which made him nervous. That didn’t mean that… it was gone, right?

Instead of kneeling on the futon and lying down like a normal person would, Kaworu full-on collapsed onto Shinji’s, a nice poof-like sound following it. His head went straight into the pillow, not really causing him any pain. The towel around his waist basically flew off, but only a short distance. Kaworu closed his eyes, gently inhaling the air of the pillow.

Yeah. The smell was still there.

Kaworu took a sigh of relief. The memories through scent were still pleasant in the futons. Perhaps Shinji would take notice too. Kaworu sat up; as much as he just wanted to lay in Shinji’s spot, completely naked especially, forever (or until Shinji got home), he did have a job to do. He got up from the futon, heading for another one of the opened boxes; the one that contained his clothing. As he sorted through his clothing trying to pick something simple, his eyes moved to a wider box of the rest of them.

Sure enough, it contained Kaworu’s keyboard and equipment. He would finally be able to unpack and play a little in his spare time like he used to. It sounded like a nice idea; maybe he could even begin to write down the supposed score of Shinji’s dream hums. He chuckled at the thought, pulling a shirt on.

He could do that later. For now, Kaworu had some unpacking and deep thinking to do.


	5. Take Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay im two projects ahead in my AP art class LETS GO I CAN FUCKGIN WRITE

The rest of the day passed pretty quickly. Kaworu managed to unpack every box in the bedroom, and even managed to sit back with his keyboard and play for a little bit. He tried to reenact the sounds he could hear from Shinji in the middle of the night, but he couldn’t quite get it right. He sat on his futon with the keyboard, sighing at each failed attempt.

The front door opening was heard, and Kaworu perked up. The door slammed shut, and wobbly footsteps were heard, with some groaning as well.

“Shinji?” Kaworu was concerned. So concerned that he dropped the honorific. He got up front the futon, putting the keyboard aside and stepping out of the bedroom. Shinji had stumbled his way into the kitchen, slumping on a seat at the table. Kaworu peeked his head in, worry flushing his face. “Shinji? What happened?”

“Asuka worked me double time…” A long sigh escaped Shinji. “I managed to run out of there when my shift ended before she could make me do anything…”

A bit of relief brushed over Kaworu. It wasn’t anything too serious. “You want me to help you into bed?”

Shinji nodded. “Could you…? I’m exhausted…”

Kaworu managed to get Shinji back on is feet, propping him with his shoulder. Shinji’s arm went around Kaworu’s shoulders to support himself, and they both sluggishly worked together to get over to the bedroom to lay Shinji down. They managed to get there, Kaworu gently letting Shinji lay on his futon. Shinji nodded, groaning a bit in comfort as he was finally laying down.

“Thank you, Kaworu…”

“It’s no problem. You had me worried there for a second…”

“I’m sorry…” Shinji’s eyes scanned the room. “Wow, you managed to unpack everything in here…”

“Aha. Well, I had some motivation, I guess.” Kaworu rubbed the back of his head. “That and the lunch you provided me; it was delicious.”

“I was going to pick up dinner, but I didn’t exactly get the chance to or anything.”

“Don’t worry about it. Tomorrow’s Friday, right? I’m off in the morning, so we can go to breakfast before you go to class.” Kaworu flashed his usual smile. “It’ll be fun. While you’re at school, I can try and fill up the fridge a little…”

“Do you want a list?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I know what you like, Shinji.”

Shinji became a little flushed. Something in Kaworu’s voice stuck him as voluptuous. “All right, I’m counting on you, then…” His eyes moved again; this time to Kaworu’s futon. “Hey, you got your keyboard out.”

Kaworu nodded. “Yeah, I was playing it earlier, actually. Your cello is buried amongst the boxy mess in the living room-to-be, I believe…”

“Is it? I can dig it out later then. Have you played anything yet, Kaworu?”

“A-Ah, well…” Now’s your chance, doofus. “Well, I’ve had this one melody stuck in my head for sometime now. It’s cryptic, almost; I can’t figure out where I’ve heard it from exactly, you know?” You’re such a smooth liar.

Shinji nodded. “Interesting. Can you play any of it for me?”

“Of course. Anything for you.”

“We can think of it as a lullaby of sorts when you think about it.”

“In that case, I’ll kill the lights.”

Kaworu dimmed the lights in the bedroom. The only light visible was from the window with the blinds. The city lights peeked in through the cracks of the blinds, making a soft, glowy feeling in the room. Kaworu clicked a switch on his keyboard, causing a little light to come on so he could see the keys. He then sat down on his futon next to Shinji’s, keyboard lit up and placed on his lap. He grinned over the keys; he was genuinely excited.

He started right away. He only knew a couple of measures worth of notes, at least through his guessed transcribing. Kaworu only knew what he could hear from Shinji. It was slow, so he was able to drag it out a bit longer. Shinji’s eyes widened in interest; the gleam in his iris could light up the room.

“Kaworu…”

“Hm? Did you like it?” Kaworu turned his head to Shinji.

“Yeah, but… where did you hear this from?”

“I told you, I don’t really remember…” Kaworu got a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh.. . all right.” Shinji nodded. “Well, I liked it. It was nice.”

“It’s short, though…”

“That doesn’t matter.”

Kaworu smiled wider, turning off and pushing his keyboard aside. He adjusted so he went from sitting on his futon to lying down beside Shinji. “I like that you think that way, Shinji.”

There’s that feeling again. Shinji’s face lit up a little more. “W-Well, I mean… I think anyone would, Kaworu. You’re really good at piano.”

“Thank you, Shinji. I’ll definitely try to figure out more of that melody for you.”

And again. The conversation went further between the two, and spanned over the next hour or so. Shinji noticed that Kaworu’s way of speaking was different… and actually changing as they went on. His voice seemed gentler and more sensitive toward Shinji. He also noticed the drop of the usual quirky honorific that Kaworu would always use to reference Shinji. Shinji wasn’t sure if he should find it odd or charming that Kaworu was a bit more open with him.

It also appeared that Kaworu inched closer between the two futons as their talking continued. Shinji noticed this detail, but didn’t speak up. Kaworu was pretty at ease at the moment, and it was nice. 

“So, Shinji. Do you want to keep talking, or would you rather sleep? I’m sure it’s starting to get kind of late, and I know you’re tired…”

Shinji nodded. “Yeah… I think I’ll call it a night.”

Kaworu returned the nod. “Well… I guess this is good night, huh?” He tried to inch just a little closer. Their noses were close to touching.

Shinji had no idea what was going on. “I guess it is…”

Kaworu chuckled. “You seem nervous.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Your tone of voice. It’s kind of shaky…” Kaworu trailed off a bit. “…I think it’s cute.”

Shinji turned his head a little bit, his face pressing into the pillow a little bit. “So you do.”

Kaworu’s hand moved to the underside of Shinji’s turned face, pushing on his cheek with his fingers to turn his face back. “Hey, don’t hide your face. It’s hard enough to see you in the dark.” Kaworu was amused with himself. It was a bit easier than he thought. “Hey, your face is pretty warm…”

Shinji didn’t respond this time. His eyes remained in contact with Kaworu’s through the darkness. He almost felt himself leaning closer to Kaworu’s face. Kaworu ended up doing the same thing without even realizing it. Both of their heartbeats picked up the pace in those moments, probably even in sync with each other. Soon enough, Kaworu lightly pressed his lips to Shinji’s, waiting a moment before pushing a little bit harder and exchanging the kiss. Shinji surprisingly went with it, even those his face was getting as hot as the sun. Kaworu managed to push Shinji into the kiss a bit more with his hand still on his cheek, but not much.

They eventually pulled away from each other, and Kaworu’s smile returned. “Well, I guess this is good night, Shinji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there kaboom amaze lets begin the hopeful romance  
> are you guys happy now


	6. Morningtime

Shinji’s eyes slowly opened up, the early sunrise piercing his vision. Kaworu must’ve opened up the curtains when he woke up not too long ago; Shinji was laying partially on Kaworu’s futon, and it still felt warm. He rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the room a bit more clearly. It was early; early enough for him to have time to shower and whatnot until he and Kaworu’s planned breakfast. Then, Shinji would come home in the evening for a bit and go back to work, hopefully not to be brutally overworked by Asuka again. Then again, Asuka probably took out most of her frustrations already, at least by Shinji’s own assumptions.

He finally sat up, stretching and yawning to loosen himself and wake up a little more. He could smell something damp; the shower must’ve been recently used, meaning Kaworu definitely didn’t get up that long ago. Shinji was still a bit sore from yesterday, but his condition was an improvement at the least. He looked beside him; Kaworu’s powered-off keyboard was still sitting there. Some wrinkled pieces of sheet music were beside it. They appeared to be messily scribbled on with ink and covered in smudges and crossed-out writings. Shinji raised an eyebrow; did Kaworu even sleep last night?

Shinji could read music perfectly fine, for he knew a few clefs. However, Kaworu’s writing was almost impossible to decipher. More importantly, Shinji was completely clueless when it came to piano music specifically, anyways (he did play cello for a reason). With both aspects in mind, Shinji was lost. Still, it amazed Shinji that Kaworu played what he did the other night. It made Shinji wonder where Kaworu even picked up that melody from. Perhaps he stayed up to some ungodly hour of the night trying to figure it out?

He brought his fingers to his lips. Right; that thing that happened before he clocked out for the night. Some sort of intangible touch sort of lingered on Shinji’s lips, making his face blush a little bit. It felt like Kaworu left an impact on him in some way, but Shinji couldn’t determine clearly what it meant or if he felt comfortable with it.

Shinji took another yawn, in the middle of it as the door creaked open a little, Kaworu sticking his head inside.

“Good Morning, Shinji.”

Shinji nodded. “Good Morning.”

“We still have a good amount of time until we have to get going, so you can take your time getting out of bed.” Kaworu walked into the room, taking a seat on his futon. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I slept fine. I don’t hurt as much as I did yesterday. What about you?”

“I slept all right.” Wow, Kaworu. You’re a filthy liar. “I got up a little bit earlier than you did, but I was careful not to wake you or anything. I was actually coming by to see if you were awake anyways.”

Shinji nodded. “How much time do we have?”

“An hour and then some. You can get into the shower now, if you want. It’s warmed up a little bit for you.” Kaworu chuckled a little at his own joke. Even though it wasn’t much of joke. Props for trying.

“I guess I can get into the shower now. Then I can get dressed and get some more unpacking done.”

“Don’t worry about that. I can take care of it while you’re at your classes, as well as do some grocery shopping.”

“And you’re absolutely sure you don’t need a list…?”

“Yes, Shinji. Stop worrying.”

Shinji grimaced. He didn’t want to remember the last time Kaworu went shopping. “…Fine. Whatever you say.”  
“In that case, you should get in the shower.” Kaworu stood up. “I’m going to go unpack some more things in the living room. There’s still quite a few boxes there…”

Shinji nodded as he understood. Kaworu left the room, closing the door on his way out so Shinji could have some privacy. A folded towel was on top of his own box of clothes, so he didn’t have to leave the room to get one. He finally stood from his futon as well, fixing the blanket so it was neat. Shinji stripped off his filthy clothing from the night before, leaving beside his box of other clothing before wrapping the towel around his waist and leaving the room.

He walked slowly to the bathroom, still a bit drowsy from waking up and hoping not to catch Kaworu’s attention. Soon, he got into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. He hung his towel on the hook, turning on the water and waiting for it to get hot before stepping in. He knew Kaworu was waiting for him, so he couldn’t make his shower be too long and thoughtful.

Still, he couldn’t help but think about the other night. Kaworu was acting a bit differently than usual. He still had his quirky personality, but something about his voice was a bit smoother and his words tied together more easily. Something about struck Shinji as, not really odd, but charming instead. Maybe not charming, but it was something flattering at least. However, Shinji wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it, or if it would escalate or advance.

He washed his hair quickly, trying to get through the shower as soon as possible. Even with that, the thoughts weighed down on his mind. Perhaps during breakfast, Shinji could subtly bring it up and talk to him about it. But Kaworu could always either be vague or skip over any questions completely so he wouldn’t have to open up. If Shinji could be persistent enough, he could try to get it out of Kaworu.

Shinji cleaned himself a bit more slowly, trying to think of some way he could get Kaworu to talk. T didn’t raid his mind that much, but it did pose of the risk of Shinji accidentally saying some stupid or spontaneous, earning a head tilt and a smile from Kaworu. That was a daily occurrence, but he didn’t want to risk it; Shinji had to try and be assertive for once, even if it wasn’t his overall forte. No music pun intended. Okay, maybe a little.

He finished and rinsed himself off, eventually turning off the water and peeking out from the curtain. The bathroom mirror was steamed, a blurry blob showing in the reflection as Shinji. The clock ticked soundly on the wall, also fogged on the glass a little from the shower. The vent that would keep the steam from damaging the interior was blowing, relieving the room of the humidity a bit at a time. Shinji stepped out, grabbing the towel from the hook and drying himself off thoroughly. He didn’t want to purposely keep Kaworu waiting.

Shinji opened up the door, the cool air hitting his damp skin and making him shiver. The squeak of the door made Kaworu turn around, a smaller box in his hands. “Shinji-kun.”

Huh. The honorific formality was back in his voice. “What is it?”

“I found your cello among the boxes in the living room. I opened up the case and your strings re horribly out of tune… Do you want me to tune it while you’re gone?”

“I mean, you could try to. The strings need to be replaced…”

“I can give it a shot. If I can’t do it, I can find somewhere that can replace them for you.”

Shinji shook his head. “I can replace them myself.”

“You sure?”

Shinji nodded. “I’ll be quick with getting dressed. Then we can head out.”

“Yeah, you took a bit long in the shower… Are you all right?”

“H-Huh? I mean… yeah, I’m fine. I just… went a bit slower since I’m tired! That’s all!” Shinji’s jittery tone was peeking out.

Kaworu raised an eyebrow, but nodded in understanding anyways. “Whatever you say, Shinji…”

Now, no honorific. “I’m gonna go get dressed. Wait there.”

Before Kaworu could say anything else, Shinji rushed from the bathroom to the bedroom, slamming the door shut clumsily. Kaworu sighed quietly; perhaps he was too hasty the other night. Shinji didn’t usually get that jumpy unless something was truly bothering him, at least from what Kaworu could see. He looked back over at Shinji’s cello case, which was leaning on the wall at the moment. He put down the box he was holding, going over to the front door to put on his shoes.

Maybe Kaworu was just overthinking things again.


	7. Recognition

The two had left not too long after Shinji was done getting dressed. Shinji brought his backpack along with him to breakfast, which contained a textbook, some folders, and pencil case where he kept every valuable aspect of his academic life inside of. His cellphone and wallet rested in his shorts pockets. His phone was also on silent so he wouldn’t get in trouble during class.

Even for so early in the morning, the outside was hot and sticky like it would be in the coming afternoon. It was September, so it wasn’t usually supposed to be that hot outside. It made Shinji sort of miss the newly installed air conditioning in the apartment, but it wasn’t really something he could bring himself to worry about for the moment; for now, the concern was to get Kaworu to talk.

The process went quickly; they entered the café they usually ate at, quickly got a seat and placed their orders. After that, the seating between the two of them was awkward; neither of them really spoke to each other. Shinji brewed over whether or not to start any conversation, and Kaworu kept himself from starting conversation purposely so Shinji could say something. It was a deathly standstill between the two of them.

“…Kaworu.” Shinji finally said something, breaking the awkward silence between the two of them.

Kaworu perked up, originally staring out a window beside him. “What is it?”

“Can we… talk about something?”

“Anything. What do you want to talk about?”

Shinji swallowed nervously. “I want to talk about… the other day.”

“The other day?” Kaworu tilted his head, and then grinned. “Yeah, all of that unpacking was ruthless, you know? And then you got home and was completely exhausted… that day was just one form of fatigue after another, right Shinji?”

Shinji wasn’t amused. “No, I mean…”

“I wonder if Asuka will work you as hard as she did yesterday. You have an evening shift, if I remember correctly. Plus, you two also share classes, right?”

Shinji nodded. “Yeah, Kaworu, but I meant to talk about something else besides my daily life.”

“Like what?”

“I want to talk about what happened the other night.”

“The music?”

“No, Kaworu. The other thing that happened.”

Kaworu went silent, his smile straining to keep up a little bit. He should’ve known that Shinji would’ve brought it up. In fact, he did know; he was perfectly aware of that fact. He followed Asuka’s earlier advice to the best of his abilities, and that was what he got out of it. Kaworu truly wanted to do it, but he was afraid of Shinji’s reaction. Now, his fear would be put in the light.

“Why did you kiss me?” Shinji asked, his voice proving to be a bit more demanding than he intended. It seemed a bit out-of-character for himself, but he ignored his own anxieties for the moment.

“…A kiss good night?” Kaworu answered meekly. That was the best answer he could muster up without being specific. Alas, he knew Shinji wouldn’t stand for that kind of response, whether horribly nervous like usual or surprisingly assertive like he was at the moment.

Shinji sighed. “Kaworu, you know that isn’t what you intended…”

Kaworu finally frowned, nodding in understanding. Shinji could read him like a book at this rate of his behavior. “Then what do you want to hear?”

“I want to know why. Truthfully.”

“It was a spur of the moment sort of thing, you know? The opportunity presented itself, in a way. Something of the sorts.” Kaworu chuckled quietly. He knew that answer wouldn’t make the bill either. Kaworu was running out of humorously vague answers, and he could sense that Shinji was running out of patience. Kaworu sighed, speaking again a bit more truthfully. “I mean, all of what I said was true. But, I guess the ultimate reason is that… I’ve developed affection for you, Shinji-kun…”

Shinji’s sharper behavior suddenly softened, his cheeks getting a bit pink from Kaworu’s words. The atmosphere got a bit less awkward, and Kaworu was looking into Shinji’s eyes with a docile, yet sincere expression. He was waiting for an answer.

“U-Uh, well…” Shinji sputtered. He wasn’t sure if he was more embarrassed or surprised. He never got any sort of crush confession from anyone, let alone from a good friend of his. He was the classical degree of flustered.

Kaworu’s sterner expression eased a little. “I figured it would be a bit of a bomb to drop so soon after we started living together, you know? But, I guess last night I couldn’t help myself anymore…” Kaworu bit his lip, stopping himself from going into detail. “What do you think of it?”

“I-I mean… it’s sudden.” Shinji began. “But, I guess I don’t necessarily reject it, you know? I mean, I don’t view it as a bad thing, either…”

“But I want to know how you truly feel about it. It’s reassuring that you don’t seem to reject my advances…”

“I… I don’t know how to feel about it.” Shinji finally admitted. “Aside from it being sort of sudden and spontaneous, it’s also something I need to think about…”

Kaworu nodded. “I see…”

“Don’t get me wrong, though. I don’t wanna change anything that’s going now.” Shinji tried to be comforting at the least. “We can still live together and room together… that’s not gonna change because of this. I just need some time to brew over it…”

Before Kaworu could get another word out, a waitress swooped in a bit unexpectedly, serving them their breakfast with a quick smile before running off to another table. The two exchanged glances, sort of spooked by the unexpected interruption. Kaworu thought of it as even a bit suspicious, but he brushed it aside for the moment; there was something more important to discuss.

“I’ll give you all the time you need. My feelings won’t change, Shinji. Not until you give me the word.” Kaworu tried to muster another smile. “Just as long as you know I’ll always wait for you, and you won’t doubt my feelings for you.”

Shinji nodded. “I won’t.”

“Good.” Kaworu’s final genuine smile returned to his expression. He was much more at ease. “With that, you should probably eat quickly; you need to go to your classes soon, you know?”


	8. He'll Get His Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my brithday's on monday  
> finally turning 18  
> i get go to maryland for college bullshit  
> how fun

“Hmmm? How interesting. There are so many brands and variations… why do people need to have this many? Isn’t one kind good enough?” Kaworu was getting some interesting stares from the little children and their mothers throughout the isles. Kaworu never went shopping for anything like groceries before; at least not on his own, anyways. Shinji ended up leaving him a list anyways, because he knew Kaworu would somehow botch it by either misreading a label or getting distracted by something. In this case, it was the many different kinds of peanut butter one could buy.

He shrugged, grabbing the brand that Shinji requested on the list. He was surprised at how specifically Shinji was with his shopping lists. It was listed exactly by brand, and size if needed. Shinji always did this, and Kaworu was aware of it, but he didn’t know that it was that extreme. Maybe it was a habit from when he used to live with his father? Kaworu didn’t know for sure, and merely just digressed; it’s not like Shinji’s past was much of his business at the moment, anyways.

The list itself wasn’t long, but Kaworu’s tendencies to stare at everything else in fascination sort of made the trip drag on. He did have all day until Shinji got home from classes, so it wasn’t like he had to be home right away or anything. He had most of everything that was on the list, so he decided to browse a little bit. Seeing as that he saw it was getting him nowhere, he decided to head for check-out and head back to the apartment. 

Kaworu had to put everything away, and then get back to unpacking as well. Shinji had work not too long after his classes, so Kaworu wanted to leave as little left to do as possible for Shinji. It wasn’t like his job was demanding or anything; it was more so his classes. Normally, Shinji would be diligent and get most of his homework done at school, but because of his evening shift, he wouldn’t have as much time as he usually would. Once Kaworu started school as well, it would be pretty hectic.

In addition to the unpacking and putting away, Kaworu did also have his admissions to consider. It was a last second application, so he might’ve gotten something back by now. If he could get his granted cyber classes, he’d be able to go on in his education and take care of the household while Shinji was gone, AND be able to keep his job. He thought himself clever, seeing as that it appeared to be the perfect plan. Not necessarily fool-proof, but it was certainly something for his own standards.

The one other thing that drifted on his mind was, of course, the breakfast from earlier. He was pretty open with Shinji, even after his vague answers in attempt to avoid the subject. Still, he was surprised that Shinji was so calm with it. Even more surprising; Shinji’s acceptance. He would think that after all of the things that happened to Shinji in the past, he would be a bit more closed-off to advances like that. What could’ve changed him?

Perhaps they could discuss it later. Then again, Shinji wouldn’t have a lot of time in between class and work, and he would probably go straight to bed when he got home for the night. Kaworu could leave a note, but what would be the chances of Shinji reading it or even seeing it?

Kaworu sighed, carrying a few bags as he walked out of the store. It wasn’t a very long walk to the apartment, luckily for him. The bags weren’t too heavy for him anyways, nor was it much to put away. He would be able to get it done quickly and go right back to unpacking. Hopefully, some of their ordered furniture would eventually make it over there, so some renovating could take place. It was a pretty exciting day for Kaworu; he would be able to get so much done, lessening the load for both Shinji and himself. Maybe Kaworu could get back to working on the music from the previous night, hoping to impress Shinji further.

He had a bit of bounce in his step the rest of the walk back. He got inside quickly, organizing everything and putting it away in its respective area, whether it’d be the fridge or the pantry. Kaworu glanced back into the living room once he was done putting everything away; a pile of boxes still remained; some of them opened but left for later, and some of them still tightly sealed. He walked into the room, sat down in front of the pile, and began unpacking once again.

Most of the boxes were decorations, like little statues and snow globes, which wouldn’t be very useable until the shipment came in, so he set those boxes in their own piles. There were also two other little groups for boxes; one for himself and one for Shinji to rummage through later. Kaworu would at least open them up ahead of time to make unpacking faster, then set them aside. Most of the boxes were decently sized, for most of the giant ones were already dealt with.

Kaworu got closer to the bottom of the endless pit of boxes. One of the boxes toward the end seemed to have been already opened up, which was odd. Maybe it got damaged while it was shipped? He couldn’t help his curiosity in the slightest. He picked up the box from the floor, examining it. It seemed be a surprisingly older box compared to the rest. The tape was worn and purposely ripped off, and even had a little dust on it. Also, there wasn’t even a label on it. Kaworu didn’t remember having a box like that, so maybe it was Shinji’s?

He opened up the thin flaps of the box with his fingers, wiping the bits of dust that flew from them. He stuck his hand in, pulling out what seemed to be a photograph. It was dusty as well, and the photo appeared to have something like coffee stains on it. The glass was cracked, and the wooden frame was worn and eaten into with its age. The picture was in color, sort of brightening up its own display.

Kaworu was fascinated by the photograph. “This photo… where have I seen this before…?” He blew on the glass, getting some more of the dust off. In the photograph was a young woman who appeared to be only slightly older than Kaworu. She was smiling in the picture and holding a white, wrapped object that appeared to be a child. He couldn’t see the child’s face; just the wrap. “Could this be… Shinji’s mother?”

He put the frame aside, pulling out another picture and blowing off the dust. This time, it was a picture of a younger boy. It was clearly Shinji as a kid, but he was alone in the photo as well. He looked to be about seven or so, so it was definitely from a while ago. Something about that photo of Shinji made Kaworu uneasy.

There were only a few more in the box, and most of them were from Shinji’s childhood, at least from what Kaworu could observe. He did actually find one of him and Shinji as kids, but it also included their other childhood friends as well. Even Asuka was in the photo, surprisingly; he was aware that Asuka was a bit camera shy, even when she was younger. He put them all away when he was done looking through them, adding the box to Shinji’s pile.

Why would Shinji shove this box of all of them to the bottom of the pile? Perhaps they were painful memories to Shinji, and Kaworu just wasn’t aware of it. It lingered through Kaworu’s mind as he kept sorting, and even when he transferred the boxes to their right places throughout the apartment. He could asked Shinji about it someday, but he didn’t want to intrude or cause any uncomfortable nostalgia. Maybe he could just pretend he never saw anything; act like everything was fine and good, like it has been.

Kaworu knew that was a false reality; he lived through hardships himself once he left high school. It was unhealthy to think that way, and he learned that the hard way. He sighed, standing up from the living room floor. He had pushed all of the décor-filled boxes to a corner of the room, and put any of the boxes for him and Shinji in their bedroom. He went into the bedroom, plopping down on his futon and picking up the keyboard once again. He flipped it on, looking at the messily-written music from the previous night. He could still read it, despite the sloppiness of the notes and accidentals, just to name a few issues. He could use the music program on his laptop, but he would rather figure it out by ear physically first.

He let his fingers guide themselves on the keys. Kaworu had many questions, but had as many answers as he did awareness for what happened behind the scenes with Shinji. He would just have to figure it out along the way.


	9. Fragile

“…He did what?”

It was break time in between classes for Shinji, so he and Asuka decided to meet up for lunch real quick before going back. After sitting with each other for a while, Shinji finally manned up and explained to Asuka everything that happened up to that point. Of course, she had to pretend not to be surprised.

“No, I mean I’m telling the truth. And we spoke about it over breakfast, and…” Shinji sighed. “I don’t know what to think of it, Asuka…”

Asuka shook her head. “A typical reaction from you of all people, Stupid Shinji. I wonder how Kaworu would go for a wimpy string bean like yourself.” She shrugged. “But I guess it can’t be helped. He dug himself into a hole with you.”

 

“Well… what do you think I should do?”

“Surely you’re not going to get ME to talk to him. Because that’s not happening. Be a man, Shinji.”

“Of course I wouldn’t ask you to do that!” God forbid he would ever ask Asuka to do something like that. It was bad enough Shinji was even explaining himself in the first place. “Could you give me any advice on the matter, at the least?”

Asuka thought for a moment. “Well, the first step is to figure out how you feel about him. And from what I can see, you’re giving me some pretty vague answers about it. Then again, Kaworu’s vague too.” She clapped her hands sarcastically. “I can’t believe it; you two are perfect for each other.”

“Asuka…”

“All right, all right. Well, how do you feel about him? You like him, or not? Because answering that question will determine what you do next, you know?”

Shinji nodded. “I mean, Kaworu is a wonderful person, enough said. Despite all of the stuff he went through as a kid, and our separation, he still sees us as such… close friends. I mean, it’s even more than that, but…”

“Would you consider being with him?”

“I mean, someone who’s already that loyal to a person… deserves the world.” Shinji admitted, a bit flustered with himself. “Kaworu is gentle to everyone, no matter who it is. His heart is made of gold, and his personality is almost angelic…”

“He really does sound like the person for you and your fragile heart.” Asuka spat. “Despite what you may think, I’m not being sarcastic this time.”

“You think I should give him a chance?”

Asuka shrugged. “How about you stop doing whatever you’re told, and do what you want for once? Time to grow up, Stupid Shinji.”

****

“So you and Asuka met for lunch?” Kaworu raised an eyebrow. “I mean, that all in itself sounds like it worked up an appetite…”

“She was tame today, at least.” Shinji was sat at the kitchen table, drinking some coffee that Kaworu had prepared ahead of time. “How much did you get done?”

“I went shopping like you asked, then I organized the rest of the boxes.” Kaworu smiled, sitting across from Shinji. “It was a productive day, I think.”

“That’s good. It’s less to worry about when the weekend comes…”

“I have work tomorrow morning, so we can’t meet for breakfast again, sadly.” Kaworu shrugged. “I guess it’s good I caught you now for some homely coffee before you head off for work.”

“I guess so.” Shinji sipped his coffee. “I’ll get the bit of energy I need to get me through the day.”

“Exactly.” Kaworu nodded. “So… breakfast was also pleasant today, wasn’t it?”

“…Yeah, it was nice. Spending time with you, I mean. We should… do that more often.” Smooth.

“You think so?” Kaworu perked up.

Shinji hesitated, and then nodded. “Yeah, definitely. I’m sure there will be more opportunities for us to share meals together like this morning. I think it’s a nice idea.”

“Okay, we definitely can some other time. I doubt you want to now, though. You’d rather relax.” Kaworu’s tone brightened. He sipped his own coffee happily, thinking to himself. Perhaps he did something right?

“But, Kaworu, can I just ask a question?”

“Sure. Anything. What is it?”

“…Why me, of all people?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean… you’re just so wonderful.” Shinji gripped the handle of his mug. “You’re an amazing person, your heart and emotions know no bounds for people no matter which way you look at it. You always have a genuine smile on your face, and you always tell the truth… why waste such good qualities on someone like me?”

“Who says I’m wasting them?” Kaworu asked, taking another sip. “You see it as a waste because you think you don’t deserve. I think you deserve it, Shinji. I’m not throwing it away; I’m giving it to you.”

Shinji’s face gained a few shades of red. He was touched by Kaworu’s words, and his lingering eye contact wasn’t making it any easier to muster a response. Kaworu’s eyes stayed on Shinji as he kept attempting to ramble on nervously to himself.

“…Shinji. You make yourself so vulnerable, sometimes. It’s amusing.” Kaworu went on, a sparkle flickering in Kaworu’s eye. “And then when you try to take charge, you only cower back. It’s because you’re fragile, but not in a bad way. I’m so gentle to you because you have a heart of glass. People are like stones that break it. But don’t think of me as a stone, think of me as a feather; a feather on the wing of your angel.”

That was so corny. So very corny. Shinij wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed more at himself or Kaworu. Despite that, what he said was sweet; no, even greater than that. The words wouldn’t come to mind to describe it or even form a reply. Shinji was mesmerized; it was as if Kaworu was reciting poetry to him.

“I guess, I mean to say… I love you, Shinji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can hear ur screams from here  
> inhale


	10. The Time To Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m really glad i used that and i hope you’re all happy bc when ur happy i’m happy  
> i’m also laughing my ass off i cant believe i did that please help me
> 
> fails to inhale tbh
> 
> i love you guys honestly
> 
> sorry for the lack of updates on this fic specifically since i've had other ideas (as you could probably see if you follow my fics) and school has been fucking me up the ass lately  
> i'll try to update more often i'm sorry-----

“It’s right before my shift. What do you want now?” A sigh was heard on the other end of the phone.

“Asuka. I blew it. Kill me.” Kaworu sounded like he was mourn-stricken. He was mourning Shinji’s dead feelings for him, supposedly. “I think I came on a bit too strong…”

“…So, should I get the sob story from you now, or wait until he gets here? Which version will be more accurate?”

“Well, I mean… Shinji’s may be a bit spookier, but I still did what you told me to do.”

“What exactly did you do?”

Kaworu bit his lip, and then sighed over the phone. It wouldn’t be very easy to admit, and he could definitely guarantee at least a slightly negative reaction from Asuka. She wasn’t anything like Mari, which was for sure, especially when it came to romance.

“Are you gonna tell me, or not? How bad is it?” Silence was Asuka’s reply. “Kaworu, what did you say? Answer me, damn it. You have my curiosity now.” Still silent. “…Let me guess, you used the ‘L’ word, didn’t you?”

Kaworu nodded, the phone pressed against his ear. “…Yes.”

Asuka let out a longer sigh with an annoyed groan following it. “Well, I can’t say that you completely screwed up. You finally admitted your true feelings and all.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure I scared him at least a little bit… it hasn’t even been three days since I admitted I liked him in the first place.”

“You work fast. He might like that in a person.”

“Asuka…”

“Okay, okay. Look, if he comes to me blabbering about it, I’ll see what I can do. I gotta cut this conversation short; my shift is starting.”

“…All right.”

Asuka quickly hung up, shoving her cell phone into her jeans pocket. She was just inside of the café when she ended the call and headed to behind the counter. She didn’t want to be in the middle of Kaworu and Shinji’s mess, but somehow it ended up that way. Of course, she never told the other about what the other said, but it was tempting just to try and end all of the problems. She still wondered what kept her from doing it.

The others had already left for the afternoon, so it was only her and Shinji up until closing time. She knew it would be an evening filled with Shinji going on and on about Kaworu, as it has been ever since they moved in together. Perhaps they were perfect for each, she would think bitterly. After all, they can’t ever shut the hell up about each other.

The door flew open, Shinji rushing inside in a mess. Asuka sighed, resting her elbow on the counter. This oughta be interesting. They met eyes with each other, causing Shinji to stop panting so heavily and perk up. Truly, it would be a show.

“You look like you ran here from a small dog, Stupid Shinji.” Asuka snapped at him. “You’re also just on time for once.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Shinji spoke in between his inhales. “It’s j-just… a lot has happened t-today…”

“With Kaworu again?”

Shinji nodded, approaching the counter. “S-Since we’re the only two here tonight, can I talk to you about it…?”

Asuka sighed. Did she even have a choice? “Even if I said no, you’d do it anyways. So fine.”

To start off, it took a good half hour full of rushed customers and several wrong orders for Shinji to even collect himself, let alone muster up the courage to explain to Asuka what happened (even though she already knew, but he didn’t know that for obvious reasons). It was an unusually busy evening, but Shinji tried to pay no mind. Asuka didn’t make much of an attempt to get Shinji to talk; instead, she let Shinji come to her. He managed to mumble a few small somethings throughout the night, sort of giving Asuka a clue onto what happened from his end. Once the last hour of their shift rolled in, that was basically the dead zone of the evening; basically meaning that little to no patrons would even enter the café.

Once that was established, Shinji was finally able to sit down with Asuka, two cups of coffee and some unsold muffins between them, and finally explain his point of view to the girl. Asuka nodded intently after each little chain of sentences, interrupting less than she usually did. Talk about impressive on her part.

“So, that’s it?” Asuka sipped her coffee. “How do you feel about it?”

Shinji shrugged, nibbling on some of his muffin. “Well, it was just really sudden. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about it or take it. Do you think he actually feels like that?”

Asuka also shrugged. “That’s for you to determine, not me.”

Shinji nodded, sighing a bit into his muffin. “It’s just all so confusing, and happening really fast… I almost can’t keep up with Kaworu at this rate.”

“Then you need to try to.” Asuka spoke bluntly. “I mean, if you want it to work.”

“By ‘it’, you mean him and I should…”

“It’s just that you two idiots are perfect for each other, in a way.” Asuka rambled on. “You two almost never shut the hell up about each other… it gives me a head ache.”

“..What?” Shinji raised as eyebrow, taking his face out of his muffin. “Kaworu… talks about me?”

Asuka groaned, letting her coffee cup drop onto the table in her hand with a smack. “All the god damn time… it’s always ‘Shinji-kun did this’ or ‘I did something that Shinji liked’ or ‘What do I do?!’ kind of bullcrap. It makes me sick sometimes. And then with YOU basically doing the same stupid thing, I wanna rip my frickin’ hair out!”

Shinji flinched in his seat. “Jeez…”

“I mean, god, you two are perfect for each other. You never fucking shut up about each other.” Asuka groaned, followed by a drawn-out sigh. “…Still, I think you two would be good for each other in the most annoying way possible.”

“…Hey, Asuka.”

“What?”

“You think, maybe…you could help me out?”

“What, help you confess? What makes you think I’d do that?”

“I mean, you even said yourself you thought we were good for each other, despite it in a negative matter, but… Surely, that means you WANT us together…”

Asuka gulped. “N-Not necessarily..”

“Come on, Asuka.” Shinji urged. “You know I don’t know anything about relationships…”

“What, and I do because I’m a girl?”

“You have more life experience than I do.”

“Bullshit.”

“Asuka…”

Asuka groaned. “…Fine, but just this once. Don’t expect my help again.”


	11. Bloom

“Wait, so… I should get this one?”

“Why would anyone want THAT? You have horrible taste, Stupid Shinji.”

It was past midnight, and after a few coffees and a box of muffins between them, Asuka dragged Shinji out the café doors at closing and straight to the city. Like, wayward downtown, where all of the stores were. It was a brisk walk, but the two made it with no sweat between them, even though it was actually pretty humid outside and they were indeed sweating their asses off in reality. Perhaps in retrospect, it would’ve been smarter idea to stop by Asuka’s place to get her car instead of walking for forty-five minutes. It was too late now.

They had trailed off to countless stores, trying to find some corny confession gift because Shinji knew for a cold, hard fact that someone as simplistic in interest as Kaworu would appreciate just about anything. Kaworu would always decipher in some hidden meaning in just about anything, which was another reason why Shinji was having so much trouble finding something to gift the other. Worst of all, Shinji didn’t have a very large grasp on Kaworu’s own interests, aside from music. Shinji’s budget wasn’t that big, either.

For the moment, they jokingly walked into a sexual-esque store to look at all of the gag gifts they could give to Kaworu to gain some amusing confusion. But it seemed that they reached toward the back, and were even taking the trip seriously.

“…Shinji, do we HAVE to get something for this?” Asuka groaned, rummaging through a shelf. “I mean, we even made it to this place of all places.”

“We came here as a joke earlier, but now I think we’re taking it seriously…” Shinji looked through some loaded hangers. “…What size do you think Kaworu wears?”

“Do NOT buy him that.” Asuka grimaced. “Look, can we just beat it already? It’s almost one, and we have classes tomorrow.”

Shinji hesitated for a moment, then finally let go of the hangers. “I mean, if we really can’t find anything…”

“Look, the least you could do is get chocolates or something if you’re THAT desperate. Does he even have a sweet tooth??”

“He drinks his coffee black…”

“Oh my god.”

“Look, we can just head back and worry about this later.”

“If we head back, YOU’RE going to finally say it. Gift or not.”

“…Really? Maybe we could look in just one more store-“

“Shinji.”

“…What?”

“Please.”

“…Fine. We can go home now.”

Asuka went past Shinji, and he meekly followed her back to the front of the store. It was a bit of an successful trip when it came to finding some sort of gift for Kaworu. In a way, however, Asuka and Shinji bonded with each other. They never spent time with each other personally, excluding their class time and work shifts. Perhaps, despite the counter-productive night, their friendship got a little stronger.

Something caught Shinji’s eye toward the front of the store, just as he was about to walk out into the mall lobby. It was hanging on the clearance rack near the cashier with some other miscellaneous items that were never sold. It looked like a choker collar from a distance, but when Shinji got closer to it, it appeared to be a necklace. It was bright red, the chains tightly and neatly interlocked with each other. It was pretty, and eye catching. Why did no one buy it?

“…What are you looking at now?” Asuka turned around, looking at Shinji. “What is that, a collar?”

“No, it’s a necklace. And it’s sort of pretty… I mean, I’d wear it.” Shinji plucked it from the rack.

“What, you wanna get it for Kaworu?”

Shinji shook his head. “Kaworu isn’t really too big on jewelry from what I remember from school…”

“Then get it for yourself, or something, okay? I’ll pay for it. Whatever it takes; I wanna get out of here.”

****

“Where is he…? He hasn’t answered my texts, and it’s past midnight…”

Kaworu had been clacking away on his laptop, concerning his oncoming cyber classes, while constantly trying to contact Shinji through any means possible. It was late, and Shinji usually came straight home from work even before the two moved in together. It was unsual for Shinji to just not turn up at home like this, and it worried Kaworu deeply. He was assuming the worst; thinking that Shinji was kidnapped or he got himself hurt. Maybe he was held up at work, but that was sort of unlikely all on its own. Kaworu decided he’d give it another hour; then he’d contact the police, since Asuka wasn’t answering her phone either.

 

In the meantime, he had been filling out form after form and setting up interviews to attend for his cyber classes. He finished the rest of the cleaning up that was needed and jumped right onto his laptop to get to work. He had a pretty good chance of getting accepted into the college and its courses, but Kaworu wasn’t going to let that make him get lazy and slow about filling everything out. Besides, it also gave him something to do as he waited for the other to return.

He was dozing off as he typed continuously, the sound of the front door opening causing Kaworu to perk up from his laptop. He charged to the living room to see a tired-eyed Shinji stumble through the door. He had to leave the necklace with Asuka for the time being; he did actually think over whether or not to give it to Kaworu. Perhaps Kaworu’s views had changed since they were younger.

“Shinji? Where were you?” Kaworu approached Shinji, gripping his shoulders. “I was worried for you all night…”

“I… got caught up in some work, as all.” Shinji lied right through his teeth. “I was with Asuka, so I wasn’t alone or anything… my phone died, so if you called me, I didn’t see it.”

“Asuka didn’t answer her phone, either.”

Shinji shrugged. “I don’t really know about her, either.”

Kaworu sighed, squeezing Shinji’s shoulders. “Look, I’m just so glad you’re okay…”

“I’m sorry for worrying you… I didn’t think I’d be out so late.”

“It’s okay. Are you tired? Hungry?”

“Well, yeah, but…” Shinji hesitated. “I want to talk to you about something.”

“Did something happen?”

“No, nothing like… well, I mean…. Something did, actually.” Shinji tried to compose himself. He was nervous from both the moment in time and the caffeine was beginning to make him jittery.

“What is it?” Kaworu’s voice reeked of desperation. Shinji was being vague, as usual.

“Well, I mean… I was talking to Asuka after my shift over some coffee, and…” Shinji shook his head. “Ugh, I don’t know how to word this…”

“She told you everything I’ve said, huh?”

Shinji raised his eyebrows. “You know…?”

“No, I don’t. I’m just going by assumption here. Is that true?”

“Yes…”

Kaworu hummed a bit, trying to think of what to say next. “Then that’s fine. How do you feel, then?”

“How do I feel?”

“I told you that I would wait for you if I had to, and I also told you to not forget that I would always wait. You didn’t forget, did you?”

“O-Of course not… It’s just… I think I’m ready to decide what I want, Kaworu.”

“Are you?” Kaworu’s expression softened; not quite to a smile, but something close to one.

Shinji nodded, feeling a bit surer of himself. “I… I want to try and make this work. Despite how fast you brought this upon me, I think I can handle it now. I did some thinking since we moved in, and thought over what you’ve said to me…”

“I’ll go as slow as you need me to. I’m sorry if I rushed you so much, Shinji. Don’t feel pressured by my words…”

“I don’t feel pressured. Not anymore. I mean, I did at first, but that’s over because I think I can I feel the same for you.”

Kaworu’s eyes widened. “Really…?”

Shinji nodded. “Yeah. So… you can stop waiting now, Kaworu. I’m here.”

Kaworu’s hands lifted from Shinji’s shoulders, and his arms wrapped around the other for a tight hug. The warmth that they both felt was shared in the moment. Both of their faces were red with both affection and embarrassment, but they ignored all that for the moment. They cherished each other during that prolonged hug, both of their widening smiles covering the horizons of what their future would be like together. It seemed like all of their worries and troubles toward each other had vanished. When the two had finally lifted their heads from each other, sharing mutual feelings of affection as they stared each other in the eyes, they learned in for what would be their first connection to each other. The kiss wasn’t ordinary; it showed that something truly wonderful had bloomed for the two of them. Their previous friendship was but a root and a bulb, eager to finally pop out of the ground, and bloom in to that bright, extravagant rose.

The night went by quickly after that. Even through the newly developed romance, Kaworu insisted that Shinji would go and shower while Kaworu (attempted) to make Shinji something to eat (all of the muffins Shinji ate earlier burned off pretty quickly). The meal was quick, and the exchanges of ‘good nights’ were just as fast. The two finally settled down on the futons, reminding themselves of that familiar scent that still lingered to it to this day. Kaworu had pushed their futons together, opening his arms for Shinji to sleep. In minutes, they were tangled with each other. Not just through heart strings, but on a more physical connection, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect a sequel/continuation in the near future
> 
> i aint done with these fuckboys yet
> 
> this was also my first kawoshin ANYTHING so i hope you guys enjoyed and anticipate whatever else i can cough up through my fingertips  
> ily guys <3


End file.
